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Credo

by Nick Jaina

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1.
Impossible 02:43
the roads are stuck cuz the semi trucks have turned over chickens scattered and windows shattered all over it’s impossible, possible to get to the center of the earth it’s impossible, possible but who knows how much that shit might be worth the flights are grounded on the news it sounded so serious now they need you all the Wikipedia are so serious it’s impossible, possible threading a needle with spider’s silk it’s impossible, possible baptizing with the mother’s milk all line up for the big apology overture you can come and sit next to me there’s an open chair it’s impossible, possible to sleep in the middle of the lion’s den it’s impossible, possible how come everybody’s trying it then? it’s impossible
2.
can I hate the surgery and love the scars? can I hate the constellation and still love the stars? can I hate your father and still bless his heart? for opening a window to you can I love a song from an awful man? and can love do more than what awful can? cuz I fucked it up but I understand that it opened up a window to you outside the mortuary all my love and hate feels so ordinary, oh without the context that we’re going to die can I be afraid and still do my job cuz my heart is howling like an angry mob our house burned down so there’s nothing left to rob but it opened up a window to you
3.
Credo 04:24
I don’t want to learn to code I want to be a poet we can camp just off the road no one will ever know it oh wait I meant to turn this off this constant faucet of my thoughts they become my credo I know poets make no money but there’s a rhythm to it and everybody thinks that’s funny but they don’t listen to it I want my words to travel far live like the locals live live inside my credo who knows, who says who can catalogue it all who looks, what do they find in the boughs of hallelujah I am the one remaining soldier of a war that gets stupider as it gets older I wish I could crawl out of it I ask for laughing gas they tell me they're all out of it maybe I can be a chaplain bearing witness to all the monumental things that happen strange how thoughts like these can rattle your teeth and ring your head like a sentimental Christmas wreath and if you’re scared, just know that I’m scared too and if you’re proud, just think how proud I am of you we are happy in the wilderness they have lenses that can filter this there are some things that I regret and some things that I honestly forget we should name this war before it ends otherwise it feels like we’re living in someone’s make-pretend and if you’re wounded I’ll tear my shirt make a tourniquet for where you hurt I love your eyes in the symphonic sun maybe there’s a war poets have already won who knows, who says who can catalogue it all who looks, what do they find in the boughs of hallelujah
4.
take off your head, darling reverse your consciousness you are lightning in a ship's bottle in a room where somebody's playing chess and the game passes by so breezily it could easily end on any move and a drop of condensation gathers at the bottom of somebody's moscow mule so when you take off from your burning city reverse your consciousness you are the tanget to the tangent you are so lucky to have been so blessed
5.
they’re sending me off a funeral song like a will o’ the wisp the papers were wrong it’s not like they say the ring in the dirt the glint on the hood the fall of her skirt they’re sending me off the home of the free that’s what they say I called you today they’re sending me off sending me off, sending me off sending me off, sending me off all the ways I tried to hide from you I don’t know why all the ways I lied I fucked it up every time you held me with your eyes still people think there’s a way to escape through a hole in the coffin crawl away, pull the drapes I never noticed all the others I walked past let them sleep let them rest send them off they’re sending me off without an address a truck in the lake clean up this mess they’re calling ahead they booked me a room I’ll get there too late I’ll get there too soon the pin on your shirt I wanted to know I’ll figure it out they’re sending me off I love you so much they’re sending me off sending me off all the ways I tried to hide from you I don’t know why all the ways I lied I fucked it up every time
6.
oh well, I guess they don’t respect us let’s discuss that after breakfast remember the wolf from the days gone by? the signals were there all along chirping like the happy birthday song something that seems happy until you see the fangs unveiled we were the ones too shy to raise our voices I wonder why and meanwhile you were the one exposing the wolf in wolf’s clothing how could we miss what was so upfront? we were line dancing on magic carpets never once checked the bones in the tarpits and no one wanted to believe it oh well, I just need someone to witness this I don’t need someone to fix it I just want to know I can withstand it throw it overboard, the furniture we can’t afford and oh, you were the genius who was composing the soundtrack to the wolf in wolf’s clothing a tangled thistle of violins bind your hand to the driving wheel nothing is lasting if you cannot feel and no one wants to see it still
7.
Handfasting 03:35
hand over hand I’m with you, I’m with you and surely I’ve been here before I’ve walked this length of road before it’s over it’s over there’s nothing you can say to change my mind my heart my sole intention hand over hand I’m binding with ribbon the promise of my only love and with this string I bind my love in pictures and poems in songs and in silent films again again the words come out again you have always given all that you have for me you have always given all of your courage to me I have always pushed away why do I why do I when you have always given all that you have for me have for me, yeah yeah hand over hand I’m with you, I’m with you and surely I’ve been here before I’ve walked this length of road before it’s over it’s over there’s nothing you can say to change my mind my heart
8.
oh my darling float in the center of my arms I won't let you sink I won't let you sink just believe you can believe that you're lighter than the water I won't let you sink I won't let you sink there are heads on the wall they probably shot them all they wouldn't understand there's a thread pulling on the center of your heart I won't let you sink I won't let you sink can you tell you're no longer in my arms? I won't let you sink I won't let you sink they have newspaper on the floor they're not listening anymore they wouldn't understand
9.
how can we ever be okay again? and were we ever before? what does it mean to be okay and how can you ever be sure? how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in How can everybody let the light back in How can everybody let the light back in oh God don’t say that let’s just say it’s not like that how come everybody let their light go dim it’s strange to see them dull it walking through the field where the werewolves live with just one silver bullet how come everybody let the miners come and strip the hills of laudanum how come everybody let them whittle down every adjective to a little noun how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in it's just a modern miracle like the mirror ball or the popsicle take joy and extracting it refracting it, re-enacting it maybe that's what the Normans meant when they said there had to be a government maybe that's how the Mayans felt when they killed their kings and let the jewelry melt how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in how can everybody let the light back in oh God it's not so bad let's just say it's not so bad
10.
I am the separated dawn igniting the roof that we're all on you are the constant hurricane overwhelming the weather vane but there's a problem just one problem and if my roots are shallow and my fields lay fallow we're on an expedition day adjusting the lights for someone's play all of our replicating cells are ringing out like temple bells but there's a problem just one problem and no one pays at check out and no one sticks their neck out tightrope wires in tension the great empire's ascension avoiding the politician's gaze trying to decide which cancer stays all in a murder so discrete t here were no cops assigned the beat but there's a problem just one problem

credits

released July 2, 2021

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