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Brutal Lives

by Nick Jaina

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1.
Not A Machine It’s just been everything it’s just been everything rocking horse cancer dream I told them I’m not a machine the filaments burning I told them I’m not a machine it’s just been everything slapping their backs and laughing stiffer than actors acting I told them it’s not a goal just to have power of the money machine I told them I’m not a machine I told them I’m not a machine
2.
Make A Life 02:33
Make A Life From The Cinders of Your Past I know you are sad and you still miss him you are like a kingdom without any subjects well here’s what you do you know you make a life from the cinders of your past keep the marbles that you found in the yard and hold on tight those are reminders now for you you know you make a turn when the turns are coming fast you drive a Cutlass Sierra north on the I-15 call up every one that you know I know you are sad and you are lost and you feel all the good times are behind you there are more good times ahead than behind you you have to believe me when I tell you you make a life from the cinders of your past write down everything that you love and the reasons why and that can be faith that can be faith, at least for now
3.
Starling Cross I don’t want to write poetry because poetry couldn’t make you change your mind your heart or the arc of your toss I’ve been in magic and tragedy it’s all here in this melody trembling resembling the arms of a Southern Cross can’t you see that now? welcome to fixing the failure if you like the face then you’ll have to accept the chance of it coming up tails I’m not the cigarette smoking monster you’re always fighting and I’m not the dissonant ping of the dish of the Comstar I’m not the brutal disciple who leaves you feeling futile and frightful and I’m not the tail of the beast as it goes by but I know all the ways that you lie
4.
A Life Turned Around I guess the truth comes around I guess the coyote travels the same ground No one can testify to what I feel inside it’s a red-tailed hawk pinned to the sky in a life turned around I guess the parachute doesn’t work I guess the singer likes to dance she likes to twerk I guess the filaments are burning out their wires and the window panes are slowly dripping slowly dripping it’s a life turned around he folds his hands when he lies we’re supposed to sit around watching you die it’s a sentiment that I can’t puzzle if you’re tied to the permanent hustle you’ll be okay now the music will bathe us tonight someone will stick out with an arrogant light I’ll figure it out days later when I’m listening to the rock and roll radio
5.
Co-Creators 02:40
Co-Creators Cuz I don’t want to crawl in bed alone with just your music on my headphones it’s like swimming in the dead zone there’s a typo on my head stone I just want to be a song but how long how long I’m just outside the bell curve you’ll probably run and tell her you probably think I’m well-served I’m just looking for some shelter from the crushing of the King Kong but how long how long they’re sanding down the mystery now look and see now look and see his hands are raised this song’s in C this song’s in C She’s swimming in the reservoir oh my God oh my God oh my God it’s like wishing on the Death Star oh my God oh my God
6.
Belle Isle 03:21
Belle Isle oh this route has wilderness poking out from big crevasses oh we lie on grasses skipped on their spring break field trip oh the bridge is off a ways our documented birthday days we shared one for twenty years don’t tell mom it’s going too far all of the paths go too far into the wrong woods into the steel teeth I know this place can be a mess the felonies once were so picturesque the parties we had would chew up weeks with glitter pouring down our cheeks the orchids always with their heads in hands grieving one more battle of the bands pianos borrowed from the virgin city barons laughing oozing pity construction wheezing in the must-see dusk buskers with nothing left to busk some wild flowers finally pushing west scribbling notes on the palimpsest a precious few still debate the wedding while fashion shows rage on hotel bedding why they ever left this city they’ll never find their roots now roots now step into my office close the door
7.
Telepathic Teleplay oh hell at least we have a script to write and we’re just kids fighting over Kryptonite at first we’re clinking glasses then we’re drinking up the ashes of the pacifists and acid trips the catalysts of flagships who are thrown or tossed dead or lost that’s who we are singing for traveling and flinging for pushing back the tables for wrapping up the cables for leaving the gardens fallow and believing our art is hallow, hallow hello oh hell I guess that I should thank you for fucking me up even more than those who outrank you and a passionate case for living a life in love cannot erase the race the race of always thinking some vague man above is taking notes, adjusting claims or counting votes sending lightning bolts or digging fiery moats just start with things that you know your parents are just people and there is nowhere to get to lovers don’t forget you, hello hello oh hell I know I shoot myself in the foot every day I guess at least I never put my foot in my mouth because then I’d shoot my mouth off there are so many reasons that we could probably count off one two, your voice, your laugh three four, the whiskey and the bath the moon is the same size as the sun, that’s five the way you never really told me how you do your tricks, that’s six and how you believe, you’ll see me up in heaven
8.
I Have That Same Tattoo My heart is the captain of my blood that carries on I have that same tattoo I have that same tattoo taking care of the wounded limbs bringing salt and vitamins I have that same tattoo I have that same tattoo red-tailed hawk pinned to the sky like a childhood kite remember the cost the toys that end up lost no one knows what you carry in your busted-up beaten up violin I have that same tattoo yours is black and mine is blue I have that same tattoo
9.
Travelogue 01:26
10.
I Fell Too Much In Love I mean I wanted to know you I mean I’m here I can show you I mean I tried to be patient I mean the rain filled the basement I mean I felt so much love I mean it’s nothing I’m proud of I mean I wanted to know you I mean I fell too much in love forget the clock forget the cold forget the window ledge their little pilgrimage I’ll walk your mom back to her car and I’ll stand up and sing our song right here in this bar oh my love oh my darling I’ve hungered for your touch I fell in love too much now the air has changed now they’re looking over here now they’re looking over here I mean I’m here I can show you I mean I tried to be patient I mean the rain filled the basement I mean I felt so much love I mean it’s nothing I’m proud of I mean I wanted to know you I mean I fell too much in love
11.
Come To My Coast Oh tell me of your tirades winding mountains I watched your mind racing over and over over and over won’t you come to my coast make an honest mistake honesty is killing every precious thing we’ve over, we’ve over we’ve over thought this all we’ve over, we’ve over we’ve over thought this all it’s no one’s fault, that’s clear but I’m already out here say goodbye to the tangles around your heart to the mystery that tangles around your heart to the mystery won’t you come to my coast make an honest mistake honesty is killing every precious thing we’ve over, we’ve over we’ve over thought this all we’ve over, we’ve over we’ve over thought this all
12.
Saw You On The Train Last Night Saw you on the train last night, behind closing doors held my breath in the sharp razor-blade air and that’s the story of us that’s the story of us saw you on the train last night, behind closing doors everyone’s face in some fine device and that’s the story of us that’s the story of us saw you on the train last night, behind closing doors everyone’s face in some fine device and that’s the story of us that’s the story of us
13.
The Dinner Party I know the dinner party is waiting for us I want to dance a while right here I know the dinner party is waiting for us I want to dance a while with you I want to know that this is temporary I want to know that I can choose to be alone I want to know the shape of our home and then tear it down I know the dinner party is waiting for us I want to dance a while right here I know the dinner party is waiting for us I want to dance a while with you I want to know that I am made of love I want to know that I can make a scratch I want to call you in the middle of the night and then make you laugh make you laugh
14.
The Prime of Our Lives I’m proud to know you in the prime of our lives the prime of our lives and sit waiting her for all the others hold the window in the prime of our lives the prime of our lives as we jump into another chapter nothing can stop us in the prime of our lives the prime of our lives we are motion trapped in bodies, bathed in light sit beside me in the prime of our lives the prime of our lives in a boat, on a lake in Central Park

about

Brutal Lives (Fluff and Gravy Records, Sept 2016) is easily Nick Jaina’s most daring album to date. And that is saying a lot when you consider that Nick has made a career out of re-inventing himself. The 15-track album primarily features work that he originally composed for a contemporary dance piece in the summer of 2014. These pieces were all rejected by the choreographer, often with no other explanation other than "too sad." Nick thought the recordings had some valuable in them, so he refashioned them into songs. Initially, he would use pieces of the songs as background music during his book tour of 2015, the band repeating certain sections, as he read excerpts from his memoir, “Get It While You Can”, over the top. Later he would vocals and choruses to give them a different life, and ambient noises resembling injured pigeons with drone propellers.

In addition to these pieces, Nick also included compositions written during a process called The 20 Song Game, where he would arrange a day with friends to try to compose and record 20 new songs in one twelve hour period. Stylistically, the album jumps from the indie-pop standout “Make A Life”, to the haunting “Co-Creators”, to the jarring “Saw You On The Train Last Night”. And I swear, “Fell Too Much In Love” would be right at home in a John Hughes film. Though the collection is unusual and misfit in its sound and origins, it somehow seems to fit together seamlessly. Due to the unusual provenance of the recordings, almost every instrument was played and recorded by Nick himself. He gave the collection of songs the title that he proposed for the original dance piece, which was also rejected: Vies Brutales, or Brutal Lives.

credits

released September 16, 2016

produced by Nick Jaina
mixed by Juniana Lanning and Nick Jaina
additional mixing by Lee Howard
mastered by Lee Howard

cello by Zach Banks
violin by Lauren Jacobson
additional percussion by Matt Berger
chamber arrangements by Richie Greene

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