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Black Rainbow

by Nick Jaina

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1.
spend another minute on the masquerade of the puppet show that the master made and pull another thread through the silken cloth like the flapping wings of the milkweed moth and write the first story of the miracle of the slowest animal alive hang another moment on the rubberneckers who are trapped in glass on the doubledeckers as lovers are still kissing under mistletoe though it kills the trees and we all know, so hold your camera steady on the perfect form of the slowest animal alive you said you needed time but what if we measured time like the symphony like the space between the cymbal hits or when the final ringing of the cymbal quits you can see it all in time lapse, the measured movements the wicked grace, our time onstage spend another minute on the candy hearts as the ocean waves take back the sandy parts and hang another moment on the redwood trees as they're all cut down at their redwood knees hold it in your mind for the rest of time it's the slowest animal alive
2.
I had the same dream of chasing you down gravel roads to the banks of the slough and it's strange that I still love you just as much as I used to do slept next to you on the empty mattress while in the next room he fucked that actress sometimes I wish we could live that way but you still felt a hundred miles away miles away you're always on my heart, tracing the patterns of my replacement you're always on my heart tracing me songs are more than just words you love tied together with chords and stuff I should know cuz I still love you I write a song and you bust right through it bust right through it you're always on my heart, tracing the patterns of my replacement you're always on my heart tracing me and there's an alogrithm that mirrors our actions and tracks our attractions if we get mad at it I had that dream again of chasing you It's always cold and I'm pacing you and it's strange that I still love you just as much as I used to do used to do you're always on my heart, tracing the patterns of my replacement you're always on my heart tracing me
3.
La Push 03:46
in la push where the vampire's sleeping in la push where the vampire's sleeping in my heart I know I'll awake him in my heart I know I'll awake him we will start with chardonnay we will never stop in la push where the vampire's waking in la push where the vampire's waking every note is a song he's chasing every step that the tide's erasing he will fly with leather wings he will swoop us up in the streetlight cabaret my neck I promised my next paycheck over and over and over the dogs are chewing willow sticks I turn my pillow over to fix this over it's over it's over in la push where the vamprie's waiting in la push where the vampire's waiting in my heart I know I revealed him in my heart I know I revealed him we will start with winter wine we will never wake up
4.
you changed the color of your hair the night she took a lighter to her hairsprayed hand and I thought of your name when I saw the blue blue flame if she could have stood the pain then it would have matched the setting sun it would have matched your chinese gown you turn the pages of your book but you forgot the words that led your fingers there and the only weakness they could find in superman was if they could bring him a piece of home the home he fled from the home, the home that fell apart
5.
before love you must have hunger before hunger you must have wilderness before wilderness you must have power before power you must have love I am everything I've ever thought even though they say I'm not before love you must change your name before you fall asleep before you fan the flames before you understand you must lose your mind before you lose your mind you must have love
6.
Somehow 03:14
you are like a pale persimmon flower hoping to survive another hour it's a mystery we can't explain all this wreckage that we've seen so destructive so extreme we are like the miners in the ditch scratching at the earth's beloved itch it's a mystery we can't explain how fear fills our lives and pays us out in ones and fives how have we become all we tried to fight all we bury cash and carry and still we fight every speech we start we learned from candy hearts and then we trail off Somehow we are still reducible carry the remainder wait until dot dot dot did it have to take a miracle for us to behave push the stone from the cave how have we betrayed all we used to be the space we take up the face we make up we used to be certainly the yield of all our thoughts congealed will add to something real
7.
I am only in love with the black rainbow the black rainbow that curled its hands over our eyes I am no longer afraid of the black rainbow that made our men forget how to die now they don't know I come here in praise of the black rainbow the black rainbow that crept into our bed last night and placed its body between us in the blue moonlight we woke up in love again somehow it just felt right how could we have known?
8.
there are California houses burning California houses burning graduation photos tax returns and cover letters abandoned novels burning walnut desks and closets burning California houses burning California I returned your letter I said boy I don't believe it before I even opened it something in the stamp you chose said “I will never let you be the way you want to be it will always be always be always be about me” I stood in the salesroom I said "I will own this table it will sit there in our kitchen in our house that I will also own we will serve our friends we will fall into the evening we will laugh about our houses how they’re burning how they’re burning” burning like the campfire at your uncle's cabin campfire that song you played at campfire on your Grandpa's old guitar you couldn't ever tune guitar breathed it in too soon guitar the smoke, the smoke, the smoke of California houses burning you took it in like Christmas all the spices and designs of Christmas the smoke of excess choke of excess Mexican divorce of Christmas that's the trick of fire that it can warm you, all that fire even as it cuts you fills you up and shuts you up that's the trick of fire burning California houses California houses burning there are California houses burning California houses burning graduation photos tax returns and cover letters abandoned novels burning walnut desks and closets burning California houses burning California houses
9.
Give Love 04:21
what you think of as love is just confidence what you think of as beauty is just monuments I can't protect you from your own mind thoughts will infect you and divide you from your own kind but just give love give love that's all you have to do money is fear and the more you have. . . . . I don't expect this to be easy I don't expect it to be me but just give love give love that's all you have to do what you think of as just is just made-up rules what you think of as talent is just patience with tools I'm on the corner collecting fines all they put faith in is a palace of straight lines but just give love give love that's all you have to do
10.
there we go under the sunset there we go past the curtain of night there we go past the searchlights singing and writing the news that I've been waiting all of my life for you I've been hoping the mangrove trees will grow around my heart and give all of my wilderness a chance to finally start it's a lot to remember take your pills and pay your fines it's a lot to hold onto I belong to you there we go under the sunset there we go past the curtain of night there we go past the searchlights singing and writing the news that I've been waiting all of my life for you I've been trying to listen to the thrushes as they stir I am blind and unfocused and my words are so unsure it's a lot to remember just to hold on to your voice the black rainbow is calling me I want to be wild

credits

released June 21, 2019

Recorded at Destination: Universe! in Portland, Oregon in April and June of 2019. Engineered by the wonderful human Victor Paul Nash, who has the greatest collection of science fiction west of the Andromeda Galaxy.

This album is a collaboration with Dan Hunt on drums and percussion.

Also featuring Stelth Ulvang on Wurlitzer keyboard, Byron Isaacs on bass, Richie Greene on bass, Dorota Szuta on violin and vocals, Amanda Lawrence on viola.

Mixed by Nick Jaina and Victor Nash.

Mastered by Gus Elg at Sky Onion.

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